When someone is
stricken by discomforts in his dealings with other people, oftentimes, he would
ask the question: Do I belong here? Such question, in one way or another, is
usual for a Benjamin who entered in the seminary. That sense of belongingness
is always a prime factor in staying longer in the seminary community. Fr.
Norris Clarke, in his book entitled Central
Problems of Metaphysics, says that “To be is to belong, to be together,
[and] to share with each other.” This sense of affinity, he added, can lead us
into an attitude of communion with it, participation in it, which is deeply
healing for both body and soul, an antidote for the attitude of distance,
separation, and objective analysis that can be one of the effects of scientific
and technological approach to the material world – and each other.[1] It
appears then that one’s being is identical with belongingness. It is deem
necessary that someone is able to cooperate in the seminary community to
achieve the fullness of his being as a seminarian. Michael Moga explicated in
his book What Makes Man Truly Human that
the human self finds realization only within the society. The man who is
completely isolated from others would not be able to achieve full selfhood.[2]
The
act of existing is equated by Clarke to active presence.[3]
Someone can be considered existing if he is actively cohering to a unity. In a
seminary community, working as one is the ideal. Everyone must be doing the
same thing at the same time at the same place possible. Everyone is expected to
go, grow and glow with Christ along with other seminarians. Everyone are
duty-bound to live an upright and moral life with emphasis on chastity, poverty
and obedience. Excellence is instilled in everybody’s mind. However, these
driving forces, these opportunities to form that sought after unity, are
oftentimes the source of great discord in the community. There are more seminarians
who are trapped with the fear of castigation and thus they obey and follow
without having developed in them either that sense of honor in their good
doings or sense of shame in their wrong doings. There are also more seminarians
who are good in displaying a convincible high spirituality but deficient in
moral probity. In like manner, there are more seminarians who work hard to be
on top at the expense of others. And because of these deviants, so to speak, it
becomes displeasing to adhere to that unity. There are a few seminarian who
would rather work on his own so long as he appears to be cooperating. There are
a few who would live a secluded contemplative life as long as he is physically
present in praying schedules. There are a few who would rather work silently in
mediocrity as long as the output is served. The emergence of these two opposing
poles between good habits and bad ones in a community offers nothing but a
shallow friendship, a narrow relationship, which no one would even dare to get
involved with. And that someone who desires to build his identity as a
seminarian, a good one, yearning to be actively present in that community is
now at risk of becoming one – either of the many deviants or the few
compliants. His addition, active he may be, does not add to the coherence of a
unity because there were no unity in the very first place, or if there is any,
it is flawed.
Hence,
to regain that harmony, genuine relationship must be established. And that
relationship calls for intimacy. For unity without intimacy is cacophony. Mediocrity
aside, genuine friendship built on fraternal love must reign in every heart of
the seminarians. Christ gave us an example of his great friendship with the
Father: “As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you… I shall not call you
servants anymore… I call you friends. You are my friends if you do what I
command you.”[4] If everyone in the
seminary community would imitate Jesus in his friendship with his Father and is
seen doing the work entrusted by Him, then it is so easy and inspiring to
cohere to that genuine unity. Anna Polcina, in her paper entitled Belonging –
Longing to Be, states that:
…We have to abandon the unhealthy ways we were taught to act in the
past and learn to cultivate friends. We must love others without owning,
possessing, or exploiting them. We must let others come close and know us as we
are while we strive to know them as they are. In so doing, we can achieve an
emotional bonding or union with other persons….[5]
Emotional union with our
fellow may sound awkward in a masculine realm but it is only in this union that
we can achieve the fullness of our being where we can actively cohere with so
much ease, freedom and joy – where belonging in no more just a longing.
[1]
Clarke, Norris, S.J.. Central Problems of Metaphysics. Fordham, New York.
[2]
Moga, Michael, S.J..1995. What Makes Man Truly Human? A Philosophy of Man and
Society. St. Pauls Philippines.
[3]
Clarke, Norris, S.J.. Central Problems of Metaphysics. Fordham, New York.
[4]
Cf. John 15:9-15
[5]
Polcino, Anna. 1979. Belongin – Longing
to Be
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