OF FAITHFUL OBEDIENCE

OF FAITHFUL OBEDIENCE

            It is a common thinking that to become ordained priest one must submit himself to a stringent seminary formation. Those who have endured that ten long years of formation will attest that faith and obedience are keys to their victory. Having stayed in the seminary for almost a year now, I have witnessed some great contradictions of pronounced comical ambiguity but of great value.

            I find it quite unreasonable to study when I am not in the mood of studying. It is a waste of time, so to speak. No matter how hard I try, nothing enters in my mind. It is understandable then that one must find his own time and space to study effectively. However, in the seminary, we are required to study in a specific study area in a specific period of time whether we are in the frame of mind to study or not. Moved by my faith, I obey. I would browse my notes many times to obtain even a meager understanding of our lesson. I would keep on reading in many iteration the same passage of our reference book, so that little by little I would be able to memorize a thing. No matter how unreasonable it has become, I still obey with hope in mind that something good will happen – that my faith will lead me to a greater appreciation of learning as an integral part of my seminary life and that my obedience will lead me to developing not only academic excellence but also my capacity to face intelligently whatever circumstance I may encounter in my future ministry.

            I find it quite unreasonable to say a prayer when I am not yet composed within me. I feel worthless whenever I say a prayer without understanding even a single word in the prayer I just said. It is logical to think then that a conducive place and time are necessities for someone like me to be able to enter into an intimate moment with God. Nonetheless, in the seminary, prayer time is schedule at a specific time in a specific venue. Moved by my faith, I obey. Even with improper disposition, I would push myself to pray when the prayer leader uttered his spiel. At times, I would find myself in the midst of my craziest imagination while praying, though I would drive myself back to my prayer. No matter how unreasonable it has become, I still obey with hope in mind that something good will happen – that my faith will lead me to an greater realization that human existence cannot find its fulfillment apart from its religious dimension and that my obedience will awaken me and develop in me a sense of sacred in life so that I could be of good Christian and be able to crystallize my decision to follow Christ in my future ministry.

            It is quite unreasonable to attend to a pastoral exposure activity when my body and mind, my whole being, is not really into it. It is weird that I will have to go back to the seminary at an earlier time for the scheduled pastoral activity during our home visit. I feel it dull going to the venue without having even the right motivation to start the flow. Moved by my faith, I obey. I would pack my bag sluggishly and wait patiently for the commuter bus to arrive for a trip back to the seminary. With gloomy appearance, I would trigger some chitchatting with the participants to start some conversations. No matter how unreasonable it has become, I still obey with hope in mind that something good will happen – that my faith will strengthen me in discovering the meaning of service to others and that my obedience will help me face the demand of service in my future ministry.

            My parish priest once reminded me of this before entering into the seminary: “Remain obedient to your formators or to anyone superior to you no matter how unreasonable they are, no matter how illogical they may become. For you cannot underestimate their wisdom.”  No matter how unreasonable things may be in the seminary, moved by my faith, I will always obey.